Going solo after leaving one of the UK’s biggest podcasts

Just over a year ago, Milena Sanchez suddenly left one of the UK’s most successful podcasts in a split that seemed to shock everyone – even her co-hosts.

For seven years, she’d built The Receipts alongside Audrey Indome and Tolani Shoneye, collecting more than 100,000 weekly listeners on the way.

Speaking to BBC Newsbeat, Milena says quitting was a difficult decision but her mental health had deteriorated to a point where she couldn’t carry on.

“It wasn’t one I took lightly – even though it might have seemed like that,” says Milena, 33.

Audrey and Tolani said in January they were blindsided by Milena’s decision to leave but Milena claimed it came after a rift that had lasted for years.

There were also rumours – denied by the podcasters – that Milena was bullied and squeezed out of the group.

“Ultimately, I had to be true to who I was and remove myself from that space,” Milena tells Newsbeat.

The Receipts, which started in 2016 and signed a lucrative exclusive deal with Spotify in 2019, has about 100,000 weekly listeners on Spotify.

“Financially, I could’ve shut my mouth and stayed and collected the bag,” says Milena.

“But for me, it’s not about that. It meant more to me – my mental health, my integrity and who I am as a person, and to not sell something that wasn’t true.

“It’s not easy, and especially when I do have a daughter that depends on me.”

Milena says her daughter, who was just one year old when The Receipts started and is now almost 10, helped her find the courage to quit.

“I really had to sit down with myself and ask, if my daughter came to me with the same predicament, what would be my response to her?” Milena says.

“My response wouldn’t be to stay somewhere just because of money. It would just be, ‘choose yourself’.

“You only live once and I know it sounds so clichéd, but you can’t be stuck in a space where you just don’t feel happy.”

Milena says her year since quitting The Receipts has been a “whirlwind”.

She says she left London to live in the countryside and pursue music and writing, but realised she was missing podcasting.

“There’s been a lot of reflecting, a lot of self-analysing,” says Milena.

“Ultimately I had to say to myself: I love speaking, my voice is very needed.”

Milena says she had to overcome a lot of self-doubt before launching her own solo podcast.

“I was scared to put this podcast out.

“I felt like I’m just going to be in my home talking. It doesn’t feel big enough, it doesn’t feel glitzy enough.

“But it doesn’t matter where it’s coming from,” Milena says she told herself.

“You started from from the ground before, so let’s go again.”

Since she launched solo project Milena’s Diary at the end of September, she says she’s been “overwhelmed” by the response.

“It reminded me, ‘this is why you are here. This is your purpose’.”

But “it was very difficult to start again from the ground up,” she says – and definitely a change of pace from The Receipts.

There, “I had a team,” she says.

“We had production, we had social media people, somebody that edited the podcasts.

“All I had to do was turn up and talk and that’s it.

“Now doing this solo, I’m doing everything myself. I’m a one-man band.”

Previously, she was one of three presenters bouncing off each other and not having that has been a “hard” transition.

“I really do enjoy being on episodes with other people because you do bounce back, there’s other stories that are triggered in your mind and it’s nice,” she says.

“But I feel like having that time alone to self-reflect and to just talk is also very important.”

Milena says she uses her podcast “as therapy” and she feels more authentically herself than ever.

She’s also spent the past year releasing music leaning into her Colombian heritage and queer identity.

“My culture is so ingrained in me, even though I was born in London,” she says.

“And I’m a queer woman so I’m going to talk on that openly and very proudly.”

Looking back on the past year, “I feel so much happier,” Milena says.

“I am in a space where I have done so much work on myself, so much self-reflection and taking accountability for things I don’t think that I would’ve a couple of years back.

“I’m just so grateful to myself for making the decisions I have made.”

And despite the public statements earlier this year, Milena says she only wants the best for her former co-hosts Tolani and Audrey, who continued The Receipts as a duo.

“I always wish the girls the absolute best,” she says.

“And they’re doing really well.”

Listen to Newsbeat live at 12:45 and 17:45 weekdays – or listen back here.